Reflection - Go Forward - Only Thing To Do

Reflection

Today I am thinking about the blessings in my life... In my opinion, I have a lot going for me - God has been so utterly good to me that finding fault with anything that was outside my control feels near-sinful...

In my adult life I have a reached several "checkpoints of success" for lack of a better stupid word...

1. smokin' hot wife that loves Jesus
2. 2 beautiful daughters
3. stable work that I'm also good at
4. by all accounts - excellent physical health
5. by all accounts - very decent mental health (more on this later)
6. a house, food, water, and the means to do recreation

So, it's very clear that God has been very good to me - and at the same time it's probably wrong to give the impression that there was no sacrifice, pain, or affliction in my life so far...

Here's what's on my mind - I kind of think God has given me so much in my adult life as a byproduct of my childhood. This note will not be full of gory details, but here's one I find comical (though my wife finds it sad... you be the judge)

Breakfast and School

When I was a kid, like elementary school, I would take care of myself to pretty extraordinary degrees. The short of this example is that at 5 years old I was getting myself up in the morning, getting dressed, making breakfast, and then waking my mom up to take me to school.

I recently found out that my dad knew this and when he made some work changes that resulted in him being home in the morning, it turned out I wanted nearly nothing to do with it! I still wanted to make my own breakfast and do my normal routine.

Looking back, there's deep threads about who I am, my work ethic, outlook on responsibility, etc. that have roots in my childhood morning situation... but to me, what I think are the results of this upbringing are the gifts that God has given me... not to "make up" for a lost childhood, but as humans simply adapt they evolve and become better at handling what's thrown at them. Theologically I would say these experiences teach wisdom, and wisdom is a pattern in which we are to walk through life in a godly manner.

Let me wrap up this short anecdote - my dad was visiting recently and over the course of conversation this fact about my childhood came up. We're all adults now, my parents are divorced and married to other people, and when this came up I saw for just a second some pain on my dad's face. It's probably why my wife thinks this is sad too - for the observer, my childhood wasn't taken from me, but it was never given either (again - there's much more than this silly breakfast thing). That's sad to emotionally-regulated adults who know what a child needs. And in my journey as a dad I totally see how I was neglected in many ways - but again, I'm not upset about it, and at the same time I wouldn't attempt to replicate my experience for my own children...

I guess what I'm saying is that God is good, and I think it's in spending so much time and energy in focusing on his goodness that the sad stuff can kind of just... fall away... It certainly happened, but it happened and today is a new day.

Finally consider Bilbo, The Hobbit, when he falls down deep into the goblin's cave, right before meeting Golem. He takes a tumble, gets up, and...